Sarah just wrote a great post over on her blog that you should check out about how hard it is to make friends in adulthood. Especially, these couple of sentences really resonated with me and what I’ve found with moving cities over the last few years.
As an adult, in everyday life the people you generally come into contact with are settled, established and adding people to their circle takes effort. They have routine, they have stability and are more than often not looking to disrupt their bubble.
Sarah writes so well (!), I’m not going to add too much. Just to say that building a sense of community around yourself when you move is hard. It feels to me a little like the sort of thing that is different each time. None of the ways you made your last close friends ever seem to work that well a second time around. Which means when those lonely days come about, you’re also left with a sense of frustration with yourself that you don’t know quite what to do. And as Sarah mentions, the bar to clear to be someone’s friend often feels much higher in adulthood.
I’ve resolved myself with being patient and letting time do it’s thing. In my time in Sydney I made some of the most terrifically close friends I could hope for. The list is small, but those relationships mean a lot to me. I could certainly do a better job of keeping them more alive. The fact they exist gives me hope for where we are today and where we’ll continue to explore throughout life. But it is hard. Thanks for writing the post, Sarfos 🙂