I have recently come to a sad conclusion. Youth today are engaging in less and less relationships, too scared to commit to any one person/organisation/brand. I however, have a top 5 relationship list that scares me a little. As follows…

1) Family (Mum and Dad, they have been their from the start…duh)

2) My sister (2 years after me)

3) COMMONWEALTH BANK

4) My brother (6 years after me)

5) MDHC/SUHC (Hockey club)

Yes, that’s right…that damn Dollarmite account is the THIRD longest relationship I have EVER been a part of. I have been in a relationship with commbank since I was 5…going on 17 years now. I have known them longer than my brother.

How is that possible, you ask. I’ll tell you – I signed up for one of those Dollarmite accounts when I was young. Looking back, it was a great play by the bank. The way they were able to utilise a parasitic bug to infiltrate the worlds of young people everywhere. It’s not just me – you had one too at some stage, I’m sure!!!

Anyways, tonight is a massive occaision. If Commbank is my wife (stay with me hear, I promise an entertaining metaphor), I have decided to divorce them (her). I’ve been seeing a younger woman (Police Credit Association…no ATM/Account Fees – ever). We’ve been together, unbeknown to Commbank, for about 3 years. Things are really starting to heat up and get a bit serious. I’ve decided to give her my full, un-divided attention.

My son (ING Direct), was fathered with Commbank about 7 years ago. I put my financial future into it, and now he is getting older, I’m realizing he is capable of doing a lot more. I have decided, thus, to separate from Commbank and connect the account to the Police Credit. Excitement Plus. Once this is done, I will be able to do away with Commbank…

Here’s to the future, less Commbank. I still love her, but we have just grown apart