Divorcing the Commonwealth Bank…finally

I have recently come to a sad conclusion. Youth today are engaging in less and less relationships, too scared to commit to any one person/organisation/brand. I however, have a top 5 relationship list that scares me a little. As follows…

1) Family (Mum and Dad, they have been their from the start…duh)

2) My sister (2 years after me)


4) My brother (6 years after me)

5) MDHC/SUHC (Hockey club)

Yes, that’s right…that damn Dollarmite account is the THIRD longest relationship I have EVER been a part of. I have been in a relationship with commbank since I was 5…going on 17 years now. I have known them longer than my brother.


How is that possible, you ask. I’ll tell you – I signed up for one of those Dollarmite accounts when I was young. Looking back, it was a great play by the bank. The way they were able to utilise a parasitic bug to infiltrate the worlds of young people everywhere. It’s not just me – you had one too at some stage, I’m sure!!!

Anyways, tonight is a massive occaision. If Commbank is my wife (stay with me hear, I promise an entertaining metaphor), I have decided to divorce them (her). I’ve been seeing a younger woman (Police Credit Association…no ATM/Account Fees – ever). We’ve been together, unbeknown to Commbank, for about 3 years. Things are really starting to heat up and get a bit serious. I’ve decided to give her my full, un-divided attention.

My son (ING Direct), was fathered with Commbank about 7 years ago. I put my financial future into it, and now he is getting older, I’m realizing he is capable of doing a lot more. I have decided, thus, to separate from Commbank and connect the account to the Police Credit. Excitement Plus. Once this is done, I will be able to do away with Commbank…


Here’s to the future, less Commbank. I still love her, but we have just grown apart 🙂

2 thoughts on “Divorcing the Commonwealth Bank…finally

  1. Hey steve,

    i came to the same conclusion (divorcing the commbank) but for different reasons.

    I had realised that just be default i was doing something that i had never bothered to research.

    I had a dollarmite account starting from a really young age. I even remember being old enough for the “club australia” account which was me being allowed to have an ATM card…such memories.

    In my eyes, commbank are like the telstra of the banking world. The choice you made when you had no choice.

  2. ha! everyone had a dollarmite.

    “In my eyes, commbank are like the telstra of the banking world. The choice you made when you had no choice.”

    agreed 🙂

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